Lindsay Lohan sat down with Jay Leno Tuesday night while Barbara Walters gnashed her teeth, maybe.

“The timing wasn't right, right now. I love her, I'm a big fan... I met her when I was very young. And so, when it’s right, she knows she’ll be the first person I sit down with, Lohan told Leno. With whom she was, you know, sitting down.

“I should live so long,” Babs snarked the next morning on her daytime gaggle, “The View,” taking the high road, in re losing the interview to Lohan’s new wrangler, who’d decided to take Lohan in a less Babsian, less tear-jerky, more play-straight-woman-to-my-photoshopped-tabloid-cover-gag way, as she went around promoting her starring role in Lifetime’s Elizabeth Taylor biopic, “Liz & Dick,” opening Sunday.

“Every time I open the paper there’s another story about you,” Leno began, setting up his tabloid mag routine.

“That’s the question every time I come here!” giggled/wailed Lohan.

“I know — but that’s why we have you here all the time,” Leno shot back.


Leno - 1

Lohan- 0.

Leno showed her a tabloid cover with headline: Lindsay Lohan Pregnant, and shopped photo of Lohan sporting a baby bump.

“It’s actually funny because I HAVE heard that before!” Lohan marveled, adding critically of the photo job at the time, “I didn’t look like I was pregnant anywhere else!”

Well, it kinda starts... well whatever,” Leno cracked.

Updated Score:

Leno - 2

Lohan - 0.

Then leno showed her a tabloid cover in which New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow confessed he’d lost his virginity to Lohan.

“I’ve never met him,” Lohan giggled.

“He’s got that whole ‘virgin’ thing going on,” Leno began.

“Well that’s great for him,” Lohan said composedly

“Is that weird to you?” Leno persevered.

No -- it’s a personal preference. I respect that,” Lohan replied.

“Oh, okay,” Leno said, disappointed.

Updated Score:

Leno – 2

Lohan – 1.

And, finally Leno showed her a mag cover emblazoned with the headline: Lindsay Adopts Honey Boo Boo.

“Any truth to this?” Leno asked.

“All my friends always talk about Honey Boo Boo – I’ve never actually seen the show. I just know what I hear. That is so funny – what is that picture from?” Lohan said gamely, resisting the urge to clobber Leno over the head with one of her heels, for which we’re going to award her another 4 points.

“Well, that is from when you were going to adopt her!” Leno responded. “You think this stuff is photo-shopped?”

Final score:

Leno – 2

Lohan – 5

Lohan wins.